AN IMPORTANT PART...

Connor,
You are an important part of our family.  You help us remember that Heaven is real and we want to be with you there someday.  You help us remember that our family is eternal.  We miss getting to hold you, and watch you grow and learn. 
Thank you for how you have touched and changed and blessed our lives by helping us lift our eyes to God.  Happy Birthday.
Love,
Mommy

TIME IS FLYING...

How did this little duo...

 Grow into this one?



EWAN TURNS 7...

Yesterday we celebrated Ewan's 7th birthday.  He is such a wonderful, loving and fun little boy.  He has  grown up and matured so much in the past year.  He really is coming into his own and gaining confidence.

He even invented his own idea of a perfect birthday cake...

Chocolate Cake,

Chocolate/Peanut Butter Frosting,

and Reece's Pieces all over the outside!

Why did I never think of that?

With a little help from my dream team, we made the requested cake!

Then we survived three hours at the (other) land of the Mouse.

I love, love love this little Monkey Boy and am so blessed to call him mine :)



Mystery Baby...

After Kathryn Anne was born, I decided that with the next baby we would wait until it was born to find out the gender.  Right away when we told the kids we were pregnant they wanted to know if it was a boy or a girl, and I told them that that was going to be a mystery until the baby was born.  So Heather started referring to the baby as "Mystery Baby."  The kids began saying things like "How old will I be when Mystery Baby is born?" or "Which room will Mystery Baby sleep in?" or "Where will we put Mystery Baby's car seat in the car?"
I took a short trip with the kids to visit my parents in Montana this month and started miscarrying on the drive home.  Spent all of the next day in the ER.  Spent the next three days laying around cramping and bleeding and crying.  It's all over now and somehow "Mystery Baby" seems an appropriate name for the short life that entered our family and our hearts and is now gone.
Interestingly, I come away from this loss with an increased joy and sense of wonderment at the miracle that is life.  I am in awe of the process, and so much more in love with the children who made it all the way into my arms.  I find myself watching them play, eat, interact, talk to themselves, try something new, look for my approval and I am keenly aware that life is miraculous and wonderful and fragile. And so, so precious.  Thank you for that, Mystery Baby.

AGAIN...

Once again,

 I'll get to have one of these...

                                                                      or these...

Snuggle one of these...

or these.

Yep.  We've got another bundle of love on the way!

my babies...

Today I will drive in my car for 8 hours to go and get my babies whom I haven't seen in 18 days. It was way. too. long. I cannot wait to wrap my arms around them and smooch all over them and hold them and listen to their stories and smooch them some more. And then smooch them a little.  And maybe kiss them too.

MUD MONSTERS

While Evan and I pack the house and move, my amazing parents have taken our four active little monkeys for two weeks. This is day 7 of being "kid-less," and Oh, MAN, I miss them terribly.

I decided the best remedy was to take a good hard look at this picture taken a couple of weeks ago- a perfect example of what can happen when Ewan and Heather play quietly in the yard...just to remind myself of what a blessing it is that they are not here in the midst of the packing chaos.

And what did the little mud monsters have to say about the mess they were in?

"This is the best day of our lives!"

LAST CHILD IN THE WOODS

My dad is a marine biologist.  I spent large portions of my childhood living on a nature preserve in Washington's San Juan Islands.  Some of my earliest memories are of wandering alone on the beach naming the driftwood and imagining they were the various family members of a drift wood family known only to me.

Evan's parents were school teachers who ran a family cherry farm in the Summer.  Evan spent much of his childhood in cherry orchards...playing, picking, working the land. 

If you have been fallowing my blog for while, perhaps you remember this post, or this one.  Almost two years ago Evan and I felt strongly directed that we needed to find a way to provide our children with a childhood where they had access to the quiet of being in nature.  We decided that our days in the hustle and bustle of Portland were numbered and we needed land. 

This past year I began reading a book recommended by my friend Kim called "Last Child in the Woods."  It talks about the modern child's struggles with "nature deficit disorder."  I loved every page of the book as it put into words what I already was feeling: that it is getting harder and harder for modern children to have unstructured time in nature.  We live in an age when kids primary contact with grass is on a soccer field, when the idea of little boys using saws and hammers and nails to build their own forts is unheard of.  We live in a time when litigation and regulation and legislation and frankly,  cultural FEAR often have more power over the outdoor play of children than does imagination.

We knew we needed a special place for our kids to grow up.  And so we looked...and looked.  And we worked on getting our credit cleaned up from a two year battle with identity theft.  So here we are...one month away from closing on a house that is the culmination of every prayer and inspired direction from God.

I walked into the back yard and had to catch my breath: enough lawn to have our own soccer game...fruit trees, a playhouse and at the end of the grass a small forest of various evergreen trees just asking for children to come and make believe...our own woods. Here. In the desert of South Central Washington. Our own woods!

Anne in the side yard

cherry and peach trees 

our own woods...

My heart fills with awe and joy when I think of how God lead us to this moment.  After 13 years of marriage, 7 years back in school for Evan's pharmacy training, 18 months living in a tiny rental house, we are finally moving into the home where our children will grow up.  One month from today.

I.

can't.

wait.

KITTY LOVE

Our girls are in love, Love, LOVE with their kitty cats.

 And you have to love a cat who patiently lets little children carry him around like a doll all day.

 Or cuddles up to comfort a sick girl.

Or lets himself be strapped in a doll stroller and schlepped around the house.

That's some serious Kitty love.

LEGO PARTY

Cameron turned 9 in February. 

 Life is so busy these days...I just couldn't figure out when to fit in a party, but he came home one day and told me he had been inviting people to his birthday party.  It's been three years since Cameron had a party with friends.  At birthday seven, he was too busy having a nervous breakdown.  At birthday 8, we were in a new town and he hadn't made any friends yet. 

I have been praying for years for Cameron to be able to have meaningful friendships.  The fact that he had been inviting kids was big.  I just could't let it go and not throw something together.  Then I found out my parents and brother and sister in law were going to be visiting us that weekend so we had extra help. It was fantastic.

I bought a rectangular shaped cupcake pan at the craft store and made little Lego cakes for everyone.

The kids built Lego vehicles and then designed booby traps to catch bad guys and carry them away.

I'm so glad we found a way to make this happen for him. I am so proud of how far he has come in the past year, and so happy for him to have successful friendships.  These things are TOTALLY worth celebrating!

MY LITTLE SQUARE PEG

Oh my little square peg...

 the almost nine year old boy who takes a stuffed frog with him everywhere he goes,

who pretends to bite the lights on the ceiling in Sunday School and says with such acceptance "It's just hard for me to make friends, I guess,"

 a boy who has struggled too too much in such a short life.

Two years ago we were still trying to fit you into a round hole-

trying to make "accommodations" for your beautiful, your spectacular angles.

How I have loved watching you thrive in the squarness of our new life. 

 You are gentle.

 You are brave...

 and imaginative

 and adventurous,

and joyful,

and capable,

 curious,

 and protective.

Thank you for teaching me about life.  In so many ways you are my hero and I love you.

A LETTER TO MY MOTHER

Dear Mother...

Today is the day you were born.  

And because of you, the world is a kinder, a sweeter place for all who know you.  Especially me.

 You have taught me about resilience and courage, compassion and determination. 

You listen to me. 

A lot. 

And I need it. 

You council me.

And I need that too.   

I wish we were closer...I wish our times together were longer...

I love you.

your daughter,

Rebecca

RULES FOR MOMS OF 2 YEAR OLDS

This is the fourth time I have had the pleasure of moming my way through the terrible/trying/terrific twos...

I had forgotten a lot of the rules...

*see picture below

1. Don't leave your makeup in plain sight
2.Get up before they do in the morning...just because it's quiet, doesn't mean they're still sleeping

3. Just because they gobbled it up yesterday, doesn't mean they'll eat it today

4.If they ask you a question at church, just answer it.  Telling them to "shh" will only result in them asking it louder and louder until you answer

5.  Nap time days are numbered...enjoy them while they last

6. Every day they will say something new...try to write some of it down, or you will forget

7.  You will not always be the center of their world...the person most beloved above all others...pick them up, smooch them, dance with them, nibble their little ears, sing songs, read stories, blow on their tummies, LISTEN when they try to tell you something even if you are already doing three things at the same time.

Anyone else remember some rules I have forgotten? Please share...I'd love to hear them...

WHAT WE'VE BEEN UP TO...

while we have been away from blogger, our lives have been full and busy...

Kathryn Anne turned two.  We spent her second birthday with one last trip to see Grandma and Grandpa before they left for their mission.  Here she is clutching the Pooh and Minnie she got for her birthday.  Minnie she named "Sarah" for reasons only she could tell us...

Anne is a spunky, determined, affectionate and sensitive little soul.  She talks up a storm and says the best prayers I have ever heard.  For example, last night she thanked god for her bottle (baba-wee-wees as she calls it), her pajamas, Heather's pajamas, Cameron's pajamas, her pillow pet and Mommy's pajamas.

Heather turned five.  Here she puts the death grip on the ever requested and finally obtained "pillow pet."  Heather is a bright, imaginative, silly, girl with a fabulous sense of humor and deep need to nurture what ever she can get her hands on (usually stuffed animals and dolls).  She prays every night for help to "grow up into a righteous woman" which I only just learned from her means "have lots of babies."  If she had it her way I would have dozens more children for her to love.  She is a doting and (mostly) patient older sister who openly includes Anne in her imaginary world.  She has an imaginary friend named Sally.  Last week we had a sleep over with Sally's imaginary friend named Morgan.  This girl's imagination is on overdrive!

Kathryn Anne made her last trip to the hospital for bladder reflux.  She was tested and declared "reflux free!" Hooray!  

We had Cuh-razy fall weather that included a bunch of snow the week before Thanksgiving.  Anne was dying to get out in the snow the first morning that it a appeared and positively indignant when her hands touched it for the first time...like I had played some kind of cruel trick on her.  The kids and Evan built a giant snowman complete with the requisite carrot nose.

We had our first Thanksgiving with just us...Ev, the kids and Mom in the kitchen.  It was quiet and stress-less and delightful, actually.  The kids missed getting to see their cousins but Evan had to work that morning and that meant any kind of travel was out of the question.

Ewan started taking violin this year and played in his first Christmas show at the mall.  He was positively dashing up their with his decorated violin (for which he won the best decorated violin contest!)

We drove to Montana to spend the week of Christmas with my mom and dad.  It was perfect weather, perfect company, a perfectly wonderful Christmas.  We did a lot of sledding and little Anne was FEARLESS!

Visions of sugar plums danced in their heads on the night before Christmas!

It was a lovely magical morning with some very happy and grateful children.  We heard lots of "this is the best Christmas ever!"

Papa carrying on the tradition from his childhood of Christmas sugar cookies...

Nanny was covered in smoochies the whole week we were there. 

I feel so very blessed.  My life is full.  My heart is full.  My days are FULL.  My house is full. 

Even when my days are rough, as they often are...

I love my life.