
We just had Cameron's yearly
IEP meeting. For those of you who don't know, an
IEP (individualized education plan) is a legal document drawn up by a team of people at a child's school. It basically states what
accommodations and services the school must provide in order to assist a student with special needs. It also lists goals that are specific to the challenges and abilities of that student.
It can be a daunting meeting if those involved don't "get" your child or are reluctant to put services in writing and then be legally bound to provide those services. Ours was a RAGING success! Everyone there who knows Cameron, just raved and raved about his progress, and what a special little boy he is. They also came prepared to word his IEP so that he will get the maximum benefit and have all of the accommodations he needs in order to be successful. I was THRILLED.
But now to the good part...Both his teacher and the school Occupational Therapist went on and on about what they love most about Cameron is his "extraordinary compassion and empathy for his classmates."
Let me explain why this is so significant. I take no credit for his compassion. He came to this earth with a deep love and concern for others. But what he did not come with was an ability to empathise. This has been the challenge we have addressed the most at home. For example: We have had to literally teach Cameron what "sad" looks like. "Do you see that they (the person he just pushed) are crying? When they are crying, they are sad. Do you remember how you felt when you fell down and you were crying? That is how they are feeling right now." We have taught this same principle in a million different ways a million different times in the past two years.
When he was younger and at church or at a play group or at someones house, he would bite, body slam, punch, push, or a combination of all of these with total detachment. He didn't seem to see the other children. He only saw himself and what he wanted. It was an extremely difficult time for our family. We tried all sorts of discipline techniques with no change. Then he was diagnosed and we understood just how much he needed to be taught things that most of us know instinctively, and we totally changed our approach.
To be honest, this has been a tremendous challenge. We have had some really low times. I have felt embarrassed by his behavior and guilty when I didn't handle it the best way...I have felt overwhelmed, and sometimes even depressed.
So it is with great joy that I brag away today! The teacher said that one of the most effective ways to motivate Cameron is to have him teach or encourage or help one of the other children. They said he can be kind and patient and accepting of the other children's challenges. I feel that this is the real Cameron, and the more we teach him, the more he is able to be his best self.
When he was younger and we were so confused about his behaviour, I remember people telling me that Heavenly Father sent him to be ours for a reason. I would secretly want to scream and say "Then why am I failing him?! Why is he struggling so much?!" When he was diagnosed, I remember thinking..."Now I know. Heavenly Father knew that I would do whatever it took to help him. He knew I was a problem solver and Evan is so accepting and together we can help Cameron's life be a miracle."
Well this was one of our first miracles and I just wanted to share.