Some days I don't even remember who that little boy was, the one who was so full of anger and anxiety and stress that he hardly interacted with me anymore, could hardly make eye contact with anyone. He spent most of his hours at home in his room decompressing from his day at school. Something as small as asking him to come to dinner could set off an emotional tirade that would last an hour.
Sometimes I watch him do the smallest thing...
And I know I am witnessing a miracle.
Bringing the children home to home school took about as much courage as anything I have ever done. It has transformed our lives in ways that I cannot find words to explain. I have learned deeper and clearer that God knows me. He knows my children. He hears my prayers and he answers them.
There are hard days...lots of them, it's still real life with all of the upsets and variables that come with it. But this week Heather read her first word, because I taught her to read. Cameron and I imagined together the thrill of living alone on a deserted island as we read the pages of Tom Sawyer. Ewan painstakingly worked to put letters together on his own to make his first real words and I was there, engaged, involved, present in a way that being their teacher has taught me to be.
Repeatedly on Sunday, Cameron wrapped his arms around me and said "I want this to be the best Mother's Day you ever had!" He made sweet and thoughtful efforts all through out the day to show his love for me. He is a joyful, conscientious, curious and loving little boy again and I thank God for leading us to this path.
